Far Above Rubies

Brokenness-a recipe for strength

For anyone that knows me well, knows that I used to be considered a gym rat.  Going to the gym and challenging myself 5 days a week was high up on there on my favorite things to do. I loved to lift, I loved to run, I loved to do “Crazy challenges.”  However, when you want to have a baby, in less you are extremely fertile, you have to SLOW things down.  Anything is worth it when you want to grow your family.  I went through a couple different seasons of not working out at all, to zero cardio only weights, to eating CRAP just trying to gain weight,  before our specialist truly shed some light on what was wrong. For my nosy friends, (just kidding) I'm up about 8 pounds and 5% body fat.  So here I am now, working out and trying to eat right, because that’s what is healthy and good for my body and overall being.

Let’s talk muscles a bit…  I don’t have a degree in personal training or nutrition, but I consider myself fairly knowledgeable in nutrition and training.  Most theories of muscle growth are based on the idea that lifting breaks down the muscle, and growth occurs from over-compensating to protect the body from future stress.  Our body breaks down and rebuilds muscles every 15-30 days.  Lifting speeds up this process due to an increased need for fuel.  I could go on, but hopefully you get my point. .. In order to grow in muscle size, muscles need to be strained and broken down so they can regrow.  Now, if we use this analogy in our regular lives, we can see a correlation between being broken down and gathering strength. For it’s in the breaking that we can find beauty.  It’s in the breaking that we transform.

Faith is something we can always choose to have regardless of what we see or believe.  But if we adhere to the thinking that we are being broken down, so we can be made stronger, it might make this season of (insert crappy circumstance here) a little bit easier.  It is the role of faith not to question, but to simply obey.

Let’s use our broken experiences in our lives to develop a level of unfathomable spiritual strength. I want to develop a level of strength and faith that at any moment, despite any news from the doctor that I can automatically tell myself “NO. MY GOD CAN DO ANYTHING.”

Am I there yet? Noooo.   2 weeks ago, I was a sobbing mess for a whole weekend. (My poor husband.) Sometimes things hit your heart, and it seems impossible to deal with. Nevertheless, we got through, and I think I’m making good strides along the way, and that’s all anyone can ask for.

 And if you want me to be painfully truthful, we have the example of my almost 8 month preggo sister, Kelsey.  They have their little babe due February 1^st.  What a great example of overwhelming jealousy combined with overwhelming love and happiness for her and Cody.  It’s been an interesting journey for both of us.  They got pregnant without trying about 3 weeks after we lost our baby. OUCH! I know it’s been painful for both of us.  She is going through what is supposed to be the most exciting time in their lives, and we are still grieving.  I know Kelsey felt like she couldn’t bring it up, because she didn’t want to make me sad.  I’ve really had to pray through it.  I talked all things baby when on the inside I felt like I was dying, and she’s kept  quiet when  I’m sure she is bursting with excitement on the inside.  I hope she feels I’ve handled it all with grace.   This weekend we threw her a baby shower, and I was worried about how I would handle it.  After all, I should be in the hospital or darn close.  Instead, I’m throwing my best friend a shower for her baby.  We’re not in control of what happens in our lives, but I can take rest in who is.  I know I’m being broken down to sometimes what feels like literally nothing, so God can grow me.  I’m excited and hopeful to see what will come of it.



Somehow I came across Genesis 18:14 the other day...It says, "Is anything too hard for the LORD?  I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son."


WOW.  Right there, I feel an automatic increase of hope in my heart.  God is teaching me through the pain and wrestling of my heart and mind.  I'm being filled with His love WHILE being emptied by all the pain.  For those that feel empty with me, know you are not alone.  Let's build up some amazing "spiritual muscle" together!

Keep.The.Faith