Far Above Rubies

“Failure vs. Success”

Sometimes we might feel like a failure when we look back at some choices we have made in our lives. Life has been sure to deal all of us many circumstances, trials, blessings, and different seasons along the way.  Some reading this might feel like season after season they are dealing with a tribulation in which their head is barely above water; you’re treading and slowly, but surely losing

Going through this long season of infertility has definitely handed me a wide range of emotions. One of them is feeling “less of a woman and a wife.”  As a woman, I was unable to do what my heart has ALWAYS longed for. When I was growing up, I didn't want to be a doctor, a teacher (though did I ADORE those years), or a veterinarian.  I wanted with all my being to be a Mommy.  Month after month of “failure” it really starts to eat at you.  How can I be a woman and not perform the most basic function of womanhood??  Thoughts would flood my mind with how much “I suck, my body sucks, why can’t I do what a woman is supposed to do, etc.” That last sentence was less than eloquent, but truthful.  Can you relate??

Then I experienced failure in my eyes as a wife. My husband and I were deeply yearning to grow our family.  All the problems and hindrances went back to me. It was my fault we were feeling all this pain and disappointment.  My body was failing in giving my husband the baby he wanted. I watched him tear up at cute videos, sweet pictures, or just a commercial with kids. (He has the most amazing heart.)  But those tears would pick at my self-worth, and I would speak wrongly to myself, which left me feeling deep feelings of inadequacy and guilt.  It’s a lot to put on yourself.  I was able to express these feelings to Matt, and while I knew the right answer in my heart, it felt good to hear him reassure me that none of this was MY fault.  We were a team, and there was no room for placing blame on myself or my body.  Matt said that we would continue to put our trust and faith in God.  Doctors are awesome. They are brilliantly smart, and they have helped us tremendously. But at the end of the day, ALL glory and honor must go to Him.

Now let’s go from failure to talking about success.  I believe to truly understand it; we need to let God help us redefine “success.”

What is success?  First, let’s look at how the world defines success.  Success by worldly standards probably includes a large, beautiful home, lots of money, an attractive spouse, fancy car, “hot” body, and prestigious job.  Success in the world could also include wealth and power in several different positions.  None of these are “bad.” I know many Christians that have beautiful homes, stunning spouses, and have been blessed financially, etc.  Here’s where I believe the catch is:  When that is all that defines you, we have a problem. Eventually all that will fade, stretch, sag, etc! You get my point J   By those standards, many of us are not a success, and therefore we consider ourselves failed.  Thankfully, God sets a different standard.  At the end of the day, things here on earth are MEANINGLESS.  Success in God’s eyes is different.   I believe that God’s heart for EVERYONE is to love and seek Him daily; and then to go out and love others.   Success is measured in following God and what HE wants for your life.  When you let God shape your perspective, there’s no such thing as failure.  Learn, grow, and let the Lord refine you as he works in your life.

Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Just as seasons are sure to change, so will your life in due time.  Nothing is forever. If your marriage is in trouble, if you’re not sure how you’re going to pay the mortgage month to month, if your teenager is out of control, if you too are desperate to grow your family… PLEASE HEAR ME.  It will not always be that way.  Does this mean we sit back and watch and wait for things to magically change? Absolutely not.  Recently, my book club read The Circle Maker.  It had a quote in there that said, “Work like it depends on you, but PRAY like it depends on God.”

As I type this, my Pandora is playing “Nothing is Wasted”  J  If you haven’t heard that song, and you’re looking for something to speak directly into your soul, click here and listen! This song spoke so strongly to me in the days following the loss of our baby. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrgmjZU1ivI

When feelings of self-doubt, guilt, failure start creeping in your mind remember this:

You are deeply loved.

1. You are not alone.
2. It’s going to be okay. 
3. You’re going to make it.

Thank you, Pastor Ty Schenzel for sharing this.  Speak this into your life each time your mind is going to a negative place.  Take care of your heart, and tell yourself (and others) this as often as need be.

SO, if you are in what seems to be the fiery pits of hell, or you are dancing on rainbows, remember it is a season. You will get through it, you will experience suffering, and you will not always be in a joyful season. I’m not being pessimistic, just being real.  Refer to John 16:33 to learn more.

Whew! Did this get long winded.  Time to wrap it up.  In the end, I want you to know that success is measured in following God and what HE wants for your life.  We all face hard times in life, but God wants us to see the good in every circumstance.  When you let God shape your perspective, there’s no such thing as failure.  Learn, grow, and let the Lord refine you as he works in your life.  I like how the band Unspoken says it in their song “Lift My Life Up”, “If I’m under fire I know it’s refining me, have your way in me” I have felt under fire for a good 14 months. I desperately want it over, but for now I will wait on the Lord. Wait with me J  God bless you!

Keep.The.Faith.