It’s been a long time since I’ve taken the time to sit down
and write. Life has been crazy busy, and consuming in many ways. I’m excited to
start writing again and share all that God has done in the past 6 months of our
journey. But today, I want to talk about
Mother’s Day. There is a scale of
emotions for women on this day: from painful, heartbroken, just general
happiness, and feelings of thankfulness to feeling absolutely treasured and
adored by your family.
Mother’s Day weekend is bittersweet for me. In all honesty,
heavy on the bitter, and the tiniest dab
of sweet. I yearn for what would’ve been
my almost 6 month old baby to be in my arms, to see what kind of personality
she would have. What would her hair look like? I desire to feel that “my heart is melting- I
am so in love” kind of feeling when rocking my baby to sleep. However, the Lord gives, and the Lord takes
away. Last April, the Lord took that baby away. His purpose still unknown, but
our job is to continue to trust in His greater plan.
My friend shared a blog post with me that captured and
described my heart down to the very word. Here’s an excerpt:
“Our church seemed
unusually prolific, busting at the seams with round-bellied women and diapered
toddlers. It often felt like work for me to walk into a room and see them for
His beauty on them and not simply as women who knew this apparent “rite of
passage” — that I couldn’t quite get. At times, this surfaced envy and at
others just that thick ache of loss and all the “why, Lord?” questions that
came with it. On days when I wasn’t running to Him with what surfaced, it was
all easier to avoid than to face.”
To anyone who has been trying to have a baby, you probably
feel that all the pregnant women in your city are most certainly stalking
you. And while they very well might be
everywhere, I can now see it as a sign of hope…. If God can bless that couple
with a child, (whether it was complicated or a happy surprise) He can most
certainly do it in us as well.
Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this,
that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the
day of Christ Jesus.”
…Back to Mother’s Day…
I’m excited to celebrate my wonderfully amazing Mother. She’s
been more than I could ask for my entire life, and of course continues to stand
right by our side through each up and down Matt and I face. I’m excited to celebrate my mother in law,
one of the sweetest MIL’s I could ever ask for.
I’m excited to celebrate my little sister, who gets to experience her
first Mother’s Day with her husband and baby Caden. I’m excited to celebrate my SIL, Miranda and
the amazing momma she is to Myles and Mosley. With great sadness, I will
celebrate another amazing mother Genevieve, who was like a 2nd mother
to me. She was called home just 5 short days ago, and leaves behind precious 7
year old twin boys and a hero of a husband. I know she has received her crown in
heaven, and I hope she gave our sweet angel a kiss.
Genevieve’s death was a good reminder to see that EVERYONE
is struggling. Sometimes it is big, and sometimes it is small. Everyone is
carrying some kind of burden that aches deep in their heart.
“On a weekend when
women stand and are celebrated for that glorious mundanity which is motherhood,
there are just as many sitting beside them, whose hearts are sunk. The one who
lost her baby this month and the other who’s logged years — not months — trying
to conceive. The mama whose husband died or isn’t around to rally those troops
to celebrate her and the other who has fostered children into a forever-mama’s
arms but has none, yet, of her own. The single woman who wonders, on this
particular day, if femininity has to be tied to offspring, and the mother —
adopting — who has no stretch marks, only paperwork, to show for her pursuit.”
So if you are a Mommy of priceless kiddos, or a proud
Grandma, or a momma who has a precious angel in Heaven, or the Mommy doing it all on her own.... tomorrow I will
celebrate you! Know that you are loved and cherished beyond belief. I hope you
feel God’s great goodness in your life, no matter the situation you are
facing. Believe that God can and WILL do
a miracle in your life. Happy Mother’s Day!
Matt 11:29: “Take my yoke upon you and learn from
me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
